


No Fans Allowed Day

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-11
Updated: 2009-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:17:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skwisgaar, Toki, and sex. Skwisgaar turns into a completely insatiable nympho when told he can’t have sex.<br/>Warnings: PORN, and the molestation of baked goods. Also a tad of hinted S/P rape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Fans Allowed Day

It was “No Fans Allowed Day” at Mordhaus. No groupies of any kind would be allowed to pass the gates for a full 24 hours. Skwisgaar was the only one who really seemed to care, and had bitched quite mightily to be allowed his daily allotment of women.  
He was denied.  
He threw a total bitch fit and ran to his room, slamming the door.

Hours later, when he still hadn’t reappeared, the guys started making comments. Toki, listening, was soon to learn something very disturbing about Skwisgaar.  
“Do you think he’ll, like, end up in the hospital? Again? Like on the last No Fan Day?”  
“Schure, I bet he doesh.”  
“Whys? I remember he has to goes to the hospital, but nobodys would tell me whys. Maybes I should go checks on him.”  
“No dude, don’t do it, it’s naught safe. I made that mistake a couple years ago.”  
“What happens?”  
“Naught sahmthin’ I wanna talk about.”

Toki was worried. Skwisgaar might end up in the hospital, and nobody else seemed to care. Maybe there was something he could do?  
“I wants to check on hims.”  
“Dude, it’s been hours, it’s prahbably already too late.” Seeing Toki’s expression, he relented. “Okie fine, I’ll check.” He pulled out his dethphone and punched in a number. “Hey Jean-Pierre? Yah, this is Pickles, I need to ask ya sahmthin’. Has Skwisgaar ordered food yet today? He has? What was it? Oh, that’s okay. Anything else? _Bread sticks_? Are they done yet?” Okie.”  
Pickles hung up. “Well it’s naught too late if ya wanna try to stop him, but don’t blame me for what happens.”  
Toki, thoroughly confused, set out to save Skwisgaar, from whatever it was.

He paused outside the door, wondering just what Pickles had meant. All was quiet, it didn’t sound like anything was wrong. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe he should just go away. But he just had to check first, to make sure Skwisgaar was really alright.  
As he was about to open the door, Toki heard an odd moan. It sounded sexual. Had he somehow managed to smuggle groupies in after all? If not, then what was he doing? And what was with all the empty plates outside the door?  
Against his better judgement, Toki decided to enter the room.

Skwisgaar was naked, and seemed to be attempting to fuck a bagel. That wasn’t going so well, actually. There were a variety of baked goods strewn across the floor, all damaged in some way from.... being raped? _Can_ you even rape food? Well it looked like he was trying to, either way. There was a truly desperate look in his eyes. 

“Skwisgaar?! What the fucks is you doing to that poor bagel?”  
He turned the door, “Oh Toki.... Finally somebody shows up. I need sex so bads....”  
That was disturbing. “I’s not going to let you fucks with me, don’t even be thinking that!”  
“Dis bagel, it’s no goods. And now I can’t even eats it. I need somethings, anythings....”  
He suddenly lunged, tackling Toki to the bed, attempting to rip his clothes off. Of course it wasn’t even close to a fair match physically, and Toki quickly restrained him.

Toki was unsure what to do, never having before been in the position of holding down a naked writhing bandmate who was currently trying to hump his leg.  
There was a knock at the door, and a Klokateer called, “Your bread sticks, my lord.”  
This caused a renewed struggle, as Skwisgaar clearly really wanted to get to the bread sticks. Toki didn’t let him up. “Whats you want those for anyways?”  
Skwisgaar looked like him like he was an idiot or something, “What’s you think? I’s goings to stick dem in my ass, of courses.”  
“WHAT?! _Whys_? Besides, don’t you has a dildo or somethings?”  
“NOES! I’s not a ladies!!”  
“Skwisgaar, I’s not lettings you shove bread up your ass. I don’t wants you to go to the hospitals.”  
“Den YOU fucks me! I needs something so bads, you will does it? Please?”

Skwisgaar begging, now that was weird. Toki loosened his grip, still unsure. Skwisgaar immediately flipped over, shoving his ass in the air.  
“Toki... Just sticks it in me’s, _please_.” His face was buried in the blankets.  
Although still indecisive, Toki took off his clothes.  
Skwisgaar felt a hand on his ass, and he wiggled impatiently. Then finally, a careful penetration, but.... but it was just too small, that wasn’t going to satisfy him at all.  
He groaned in disappointment, “What the fucks is dat? You is hung like a hamsters! Just gives me de bread sticks!”  
Toki smacked him on the ass. “That’s my finger, dildos, I was tryings to be polite.”  
“Oh. Den use more fingers please.”

Toki shoved in a couple more fingers. It felt pretty strange, but then, having your fingers up someone’s ass _is_ kind of a unique feeling. He thrust them in and out experimentally.  
Skwisgaar was moaning, writhing, and humping the bed. Which was kind of sexy, in a really disturbing way. The man _really_ was a sex fiend.  
“Fucks me now, oh gods just fucks me.... I needs it so bads....”

Sensing Toki’s reluctance, Skwisgaar quickly switched tactics, “Please.... I’ll suck your dick, will you lets me?”  
Toki, being a guy, wasn’t going to pass that up. “Okays.”  
Skwisgaar grabbed him roughly, cramming as much as he could in his mouth, then biting lightly. Toki thumped him on the ear, causing him to pull back in pain.  
“No teeth. If you wants to suck my dick, you be nice abouts it.”  
Skwisgaar behaved himself then, he could actually give a pretty good blowjob when he set his mind to it. However, it was clear that this wouldn’t distract him for long, and soon he was begging again.

Toki had decided to do it, blowjobs are really good for persuasion. Thinking it would be easier if he didn’t have to look him in the face, he flipped Skwisgaar back over and moved into position. Grabbing his hips to hold him still, Toki began to press inside. Skwisgaar moaned eagerly, trying to grind back against him, needing to take it all.  
Toki's mind was trying to process the fact that he was actually fucking _Skwisgaar_ , who was simply wild for it. Skwisgaar was completely out of control, thrusting back violently, whining and clawing at the blankets. Of course at that pace, neither of them lasted very long.

Toki pulled out, flopping down on the bed. Skwisgaar immediately started pawing at him, “Noes.... more! I needs more....”  
Toki grabbed his arms, noting that the desperate needy look in his eyes had not diminished at all. “Skwisgaar, I’s not a machine. You gots to give me a few minutes if you wants more.”  
Skwisgaar looked like this was the worst news he’d ever heard, and eyed the bread sticks longingly. Toki, seeing the direction of his gaze, shook him. “Noes.”  
When Skwisgaar turned back to him, Toki cautiously released his grip.

Refocusing his attention, Skwisgaar resumed his fondling, although less frantically and more seductively. Toki closed his eyes and just let him do what he wanted.  
It wasn’t long before he got a response. Deciding it was probably hard enough to force back in and unable to wait any longer, Skwisgaar straddled Toki and proceeded to try.  
Toki opened his eyes. “You’s rushing me, you knows that, right?”  
“Ja. I can’ts helps dat, I can’ts wait.”

With a lot of borderline uncomfortable squishing and squeezing, Skwisgaar accomplished his goal, and was soon perched happily on Toki’s hips. He knew he couldn’t move until Toki regained full hardness, so he just swayed back and forth gently, waiting impatiently.  
Of course, it was a very short wait.  
Toki, realizing that Skwisgaar wasn’t going to get enough of him anytime soon, decided to let him do all the work and just try to hold out as long as possible. Which is difficult when someone is riding you so enthusiastically, but he was going to make an effort. 

Skwisgaar had quickly found the angle he needed, and was completely absorbed in his actions.  
He was beautiful in his intensity, shining with sweat, hair wild, head flung back in raw passion.  
He came again rather quickly, but made no move to get up, clearly wanting even more.  
Toki waited, glad for the break and wondering just how much more of this he would be able to take. 

All too soon, Skwisgaar was at it again. Mindless to anything but his own pleasure, he rode Toki even harder than before. It wasn’t long before he once again seemed very close.  
Toki, unable to hold out any longer, came with him.  
But he’d had about all he could handle at this point, it was time to go.  
Or escape, which was probably more accurate.

“Gets off me Skwisgaar, I can’t takes no more. Lets me up.”  
He sat there stubbornly, “Noes. Yous stayings right heres until I’s done with yous.”  
Of course he’d forgotten that Toki was much stronger, so there was nothing he could do when Toki simply lifted him off, setting him aside. He tried anyway, lunging back and locking his arms around him the best he could.  
Prying Skwisgaar off with difficulty, Toki managed to get his clothes back on.

In despiration, Skwisgaar thought of something. It wasn’t Toki, but it was Toki’s.... it might do.  
“Toki, go gets me your codpiece. You can’ts leave me all emptys like this.” Toki, realizing that it was definitely a safer option than bread sticks, reluctantly agreed. “But don’ts you does anything stupid whiles I’s gone. No bread, okays?”  
Skwisgaar nodded, biting his lip and shoving several of his own fingers into him. “Ja, but hurries.”

Toki hurried to his room, and dug through the closet looking for his “codpiece”. He knew it was in there somewhere, but so was a lot of other stuff. Finally, he found it. Flipping the switch, he noted that it still buzzed, maybe that would keep Skwisgaar happy. He hurried back, not quite trusting Skwisgaar to keep his word and behave.

The bread sticks were untouched, that was a relief. Skwisgaar appeared to be humping a pillow while fucking himself with his own fingers. Hearing Toki return, he sat up and grabbed the dildo, shoving it up his ass. Toki reached down and turned it on for him, causing his eyes to go wide in surprise at this new sensation.  
That was good, it looked like this might keep him happy until he could resume his normal life, still several hours away. 

Assured that Skwisgaar was now occupied, Toki removed all the food items from the room. A quick survey revealed nothing else that he could likely fit up his ass, so Toki left in relief. He needed to go by the kitchen and inform the staff not to deliver any food to Skwisgaar’s room today. If he got hungry enough, he could come out and eat with the rest of them.  
Besides, it seemed unlikely he would stop long enough to eat anyway.


End file.
